72 hours in hell
by Megaphone.Kills.You
Summary: Madara swore that he was not being paranoid. He knew that Itachi and Sasuke may looked like angels, but it was only a matter of time until they attacked. Only 72 hours. Only 72 hours and he could run home. Until then  he was stuck in hell. T for language
1. Chapter 1

**72 hours in hell**

Today, Madara was not a happy man.

An annoyed sigh escaped his lips that were curled in a scowl and he leaned back in his chair, his eyes trained on the two boys sitting across from him. They stared back with wide, dark eyes and expectant expressions on their small faces, as if they waited for him to say something.

Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha. Both were acting as if they were the most harmless, innocent children in the world with flawless manners.

Their mother, Mikoto Uchiha, entered the room (a lovely woman, by the way. Too bad she was already married) and waved one last time at her sons before her departure. She gave both of them a hug, which looked actually quite painful, then looked up at Madara and smiled. "Again, thank you for helping out, Madara." Madara had to fight the urge to break into maniacal laughter at that; she said it as if he were sitting here on his own accord. Really, he wanted nothing more than to leave this place behind right now. Didn't she notice the scowl on his face?

The woman stopped in the door frame, turned around and bid them good bye, before her slender figure disappeared from sight. A faint "Bye" reached their ears, then the sound of a door slamming shut.

And the man called Madara Uchiha who had only lived short 34 years was left behind in hell.

* * *

><p>"Oh really? Tell me why I should do that."<p>

Madara propped his elbows on his desk, laced his fingers together and rested his head on his hands. His face was perfectly calm and didn't betray the slightest feeling. Inside, he was anything but calm, yet he learned early not to show weakness.

Fugaku cleared his throat, but didn't answer. Instead, he settled for glaring at him. "Hn." The older man smirked. His cousin's eyes narrowed.

"You know very well what I said. I don't like repeating myself, Madara" Fugaku replied eventually and even though he kept his emotionless mask, the other could tell that he was seething.

Their staring contest continued for a few minutes, then Madara declared "As much as I enjoy to see you in this desperate state, I have work to do. Important work. Find someone else."

The man's left eyebrow twitched just barely. "I can't. If I could I wouldn't be standing here. And I know you don't have anything to do right now. Or on the weekend. We both know you're only here to give your employees the impression that you're working."

Ah, he caught him. "Go and ask Izuna. He's more suited for the job." Now it was the younger male's time to smirk. "Actually, I already asked him. You, his brother, you, out of all people, should know of his sudden departure to Suna." Oh-oh, this was not going the way he wanted it to. "You could simply hire someone who earns their money with this crap." Fugaku shook his head and his dark brown hair fell into his eyes. "Mikoto doesn't want any strangers in her house."

Madara laughed and he couldn't help but mock his cousin. "You're whipped. Well anyway, doesn't your wife have any friends who are available this weekend?" he asked. There was still the slight hope that there was someone, anyone who could take his place.

"No. They all have something to do" responded the younger one. "You have to do it. If you don't do it willingly, I'll find a way to force you to."

Though he may not look like it, Fugaku was a person you shouldn't mess with. He was a man who kept his promises. Threats should be taken serious. Even Madara (who of course was far more superior than him) had to accept that.

So he had the choice. Either he volunteered, or a group of men would break into his house, drag him over to the Uchiha compound and lock him up there. Or maybe he'd find a way to sneak the two devils into his house and once they were there, there was no way in hell he'd get them out again.

Oh, how he hated it. He hated it to be in those kinds of situations. Damn it, he was the older one, he was more successful (AND more handsome) and yet he couldn't escape this fate. It was unfair. Of course, if the roles were reversed, he'd be greatly amused. But they weren't.

"Congratulations Madara. You have the great honor to babysit my sons. Hope you'll have fun."

* * *

><p>The mere memory of that talk made his mood worsen. He had been here for approximately ten minutes and twenty-four seconds and he already hated this day.<p>

He had to give the devils some credit. Two minutes had passed since their parents had fled the country and they were still sitting quietly on the ground. For Itachi that was nothing uncommon. People often told him that the child was a quiet and well-mannered, that he was very much like Madara in his younger days, just as much as Sasuke was supposed to be like Izuna. And that was the thing that Madara really dreaded.

Itachi, he could handle (he couldn't handle a child to save his life, but Itachi was easier to care for than others), but if Sasuke was anything like Izuna, this could get extremely difficult. And the man could very well remember how he and his little brother had acted at that age when they were stuck with a babysitter.

After a while of awkward silence, the brothers got up and glued themselves to the TV. Madara didn't mind too much; as long as they were distracted and not killing each other, everything was fine. The only thing that irked him and freaked him out a little bit was that he could feel their stares on him. He even caught them staring every once in a while.

They were still behaving. This was the quiet before the storm, they were lying in wait, waiting for the moment Madara would let his guard down. He brushed a strand of his long black hair out of his eye and knitted his eyebrows together.

His and Itachi's gazes clashed a split second and he could swear he saw an evil smile taking over his features. It was gone the next moment, but Madara knew what he'd seen.

Thirty-seven minutes and 3 seconds. Only 71 hours and about twenty-three minutes more to go.

* * *

><p>I have too many ideas for new stories. Way too many. I had to write this one, because the idea just wouldn't leave me alone and before my inspiration and motivation were gone, I wrote it down.<p>

Madara has somehow become one of my favorite characters. Don't ask me how that happened, it just did. It seems I like pretty much every Uchiha. D8

Well, I would really like to know what you think of this, so it'd would be very nice if you could drop a little review :) Please?


	2. Chapter 2

**I am a horrible person. I admit it. This chapter was supposed to be finished earlier buuuuuut writer's block is a b*tch. There are so many fanfics I want to be working on and yet I can't find any inspiration and in some cases motivation...Shame on me. As you will find out in the following chapter, my skills concerning writing hmor have not increased the least bit. Forgive me. **

**And as a rminder: this is obviously AU. So no chakra, no sharingan etc. **

* * *

><p>Day: Friday (Day 1)<p>

Time: 7 pm

Damage report:

-1 broken vase (broken by Madara in an attempt to leave the room while keeping an eye on the boys)

-a scratch on the knee (see above)

* * *

><p>7.03 pm.<p>

Make that two broken vases.

* * *

><p>This time, he just barely managed to keep the flood of curses back and gritted his teeth in silent agony. This was the second time he had hit his knee against one of those stupid tables that probably Mikoto (she wasn't that lovely anymore to him) ordered to stand there.<p>

Slowly allowing his leg to rest on the ground and increasing the pressure on it gradually he looked up from his wound, having forgotten why he hit his knee in the first place for a moment. To his horror, the two devils were gone. He involuntary shivered as hundreds of possibilities flooded his mind. The two could be planning his demise, they could be killing each other, they could be running away, they could be going on a killing spree...right now.

A noise caught his attention and he quickly realized that its source was located in the kitchen. Pressing his back against the wall and carefully dodging the one or another piece of furniture that blocked his path, he made his way over to the kitchen and curiously peered inside through the door frame.

All he could see was Itachi's back and the fridge, so he concluded that the monsters got hungry and decided to raid the fridge which they were doing just now. Without creating a sound, Madara slipped into the room and sneak up on them.

"Ah, here you are! Are you hungry?" he said sweetly and laughed on the inside when both boys jumped upon hearing his voice. The older one whirled around and threw the door of the fridge close while doing so. "Uncle Madara" he acknowledged his presence and his voice betrayed no fear or intimidation, though Madara could detect it in his eyes. "Yes, we were hungry and Sasuke thought it would be a good idea to prepare dinner today. View it as our welcoming gift" Itachi explained and took the younger boy by the hand who shyly hide behind the back of his brother.

Madara held back the sigh of relief. At least he had prevented this disaster. From experience he knew that when children cooked the food for their babysitter, it was wiser not to touch the food. Unless you were a masochist or just plain stupid and naive. Plastering a smile on his face, he waved it off and exclaimed "No, I am the adult and I'm supposed to take care of you, it'd be rude of me to let you do the work!" Was it disappointment and anger that flashed within Itachi's eyes? Madara sure hoped it wasn't.

* * *

><p>When the three of them were seated at the table, not a word was spoken.<p>

Sasuke continued to stab his ramen with a fork (a reminder that behind that cute face a future-babysitter-murderer was hiding) even though a pair of chopsticks lay beside his meal, yet no complaints were vocalized. Silently and skillfully, Itachi reached over to his sibling and gently pulled the weapon out of the child's grasp. Again, no protest, no scolding. It was incredibly eerie to watch the exchange, especially when one was convinced that all children were capable of nothing but creating noise and mischief. Right now, they behaved perfectly.

This behavior continued for the rest of the evening. Only when Madara ordered them to brush their teeth, Sasuke brought up the courage to talk back and showed some signs of evil inside of him by glaring at him, but this was quickly ended by the ever so calm older brother who dragged Sasuke into the bathroom and strangely, Sasuke obeyed when a tooth brush was put into his hand.

It was already quite late and the man briefly wondered if it was unhealthy for a four year old to be awake at 10 pm. Deciding that it didn't matter much since they could sleep in late the next day he turned to leave the boys' room but the younger one called out "Uncle Madawa! Can you wead me a stowy like mommy does?" The child pulled the covers closer to him and tried to persuade Madara with the puppy dog eyes. "...maybe tomorrow. I'm kind of tired" he tried to shake it off. Sasuke was not done yet. With a shaking voice he muttered "And could you look underneath the bed? Is the monster still thewer?" "It's gone" Madara replied curtly and practically fled the room.

* * *

><p>Around two in the morning, a muffled sound reached his ears. It wasn't loud enough to awake him, but still invaded his dreams. After a while, the same noise was heard and this time it startled him enough to open his eyes.<p>

Completely disorientated and still half asleep his hand searched for the light switch for the lamp that stood proudly on the bedside table. With a click, the bedroom was illuminated by the soft yellow light and as soon as his eyes adapted to the brightness he looked around. The sight that greeted him almost made him fall back unconscious again.

There, caught red-handed, was Itachi Uchiha. His face appeared even pale than usual, a shocked expression was frozen on his features and his eyes seemed demonic in the light. His right hand clutched a pair of scissors and the blades pointed downward. If only he had been a little more careful, his uncle would've never noticed him approaching and he could've stabbed him with ease.

Both stared at each other speechlessly and waited for some kind of reaction. It was the boy who made the first move. He lowered the hand with the deadly object.

"...I couldn't sleep and I suddenly remembered there was something I have to do for school. I figured I could use the time I have now and complete my task, however, it seems I need some help. I didn't want to wake Sasuke up and so I went to ask you" the boy stated monotonously and shrugged.

What. The. F*ck. Did this kid honestly believe he was that stupid? He would have to come up with a better explanation than this.

Hating being woken up, it was an understatement to say Madara was in a bad mood so it was no surprise that he let the cheerful façade he kept up during the day drop and snarled "You woke me up for THAT? Could this wait until tomorrow? ...I would leave this room if I were you."

Obviously understanding the message (and intimidated by Madara's famous glare of course) Itachi quietly left the room and closed the door behind him.

Despite the desperate wish to sleep, he couldn't find rest that night. Wrapped into the heavenly soft covers and back resting against the wall, he fixated his gaze on the door and anticipated the traitorous sound of feet shuffling over the floor, yet nothing ever came and he cursed his heavy sleep that almost led to his death tonight. He would have to find some way to prevent any more assassination attempts during his sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fail?**

* * *

><p>Day: Saturday (Day 2)<p>

Time: 6 am

Damage report:

-two broken vases

-a scratch on the knee

-a couple of cracked rips (?)

* * *

><p>Truth to be told, Madara did fall asleep after a while, which wouldn't surprise anyone who knew the man.<p>

For some reason, his sleep was once again interrupted very early, for once not by a psychotic kid. Whatever it was that awoke him, Madara didn't give a damn right now and unconsciously snuggled deeper into his pillow, trying to dive right back into his dreams. Ah yes, this was heaven...

And that's when the door flew open, at six in the morning, a blur of black and blue crossed the room and with what sounded like a battle cry, Sasuke threw himself at his uncle. His weight landed right on the older Uchiha's rib cage, knocking out the air in his lungs and probably crushing at least three ribs.

"Good morning~! Someone's at the door and mommy said I'm not allowed to let strangers in!" the little boy announced loudly and grinned at his baby-sitter. And before the information that he'd just been abused as a trampoline sunk in, the child bolted out of the room again.

It took a couple of minutes for Madara to recover from both the dizziness and the shock. When he did, he decided to poison Sasuke's food. Even if it meant risking both Fugaku's and Mikoto's wrath and living in a cave for the rest of his life.

With his whole upper body feeling as if that fat guy Chouza mistook it for a seat, he dragged himself out of bed, narrowly avoided walking into door frames, walls and various furniture, and finally reached the door because he actually remembered what the devil told him to do.

Sighing and inwardly preparing himself for glaring and screaming at the idiot who dared waking him up, he ripped the door open. He seriously hoped it wasn't some religious fanatic. He had had a rather nasty encounter once with a brat who claimed that he was a follower of Jashin and that Madara 'should better f*cking be one too 'cause it's just f*cking awesome'.

As it turned out, it wasn't a fanatic. Now he wished it was one, though.

Standing on the threshold was a boy around Itachi's age, maybe a bit older, whose grin revealed shark-like teeth and braces that gleamed in the morning sun. And his skin was blue. As was his hair.

"Hi, ith Itathi awake yet? I've gotta talk to him, it'th important" the strange...creature exclaimed with a slight lisp, his rather cheerful expression not changing the least bit, despite the fact that there was currently a man in an oversized T-shirt and boxer shorts opposite from him, looking like some maniac that escaped the asylum. It should be forbidden to be that happy at this ungodly hour.

"Itachi's still sleeping" the man replied, still staring at the shark-boy. "Who are you anyway?" "My name'th Kithame, Mr Uchiha" Kithame? Kisame? responded and uninvited stepped inside the house. Acting as if he was at home, he strolled into the living room and claimed the couch while Madara just continued to stand by the door.

This was so not happening. It was just not happening.

With a mumbled "I'll get dressed", he returned to his room and closed the door behind him rather viciously. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mentally counting to ten. It was too early for him to deal with potentially mutant-children. Okay, so that Kisame guy was in the living room, the two devils were asleep and probably dreaming about him dying a horrible death and he was sitting in his room, doing nothing about it.

So Madara got dressed, took advantage of the fact that his stealth rivaled a ninja's and decided to give Itachi and Sasuke an equally rude awaking as they had given him.

As he stood between the brothers' beds, he watched the faces of the two sleeping children scrunch up slightly as if they could sense he was there. It was almost cute. Almost.

"GOOD MORNING~!" the older Uchiha exclaimed unnecessarily. At an instant, the devils fell out of their beds simultaneously in a very comic-like manner. "Ah, I just wanted to tell you that there's a friend of yours called Kisame waiting for you, Itachi!" The suppressed laughter at the sight of the murderous glare he was receiving hurt his poor fractured ribs.

And that's when it hit him. He left the freak unsupervised. In Mikoto's precious home.

The two sleepy, young Uchiha in tow, he entered the room where he'd last seen the blue skinned kid just to find him sitting on the couch, looking as if he hadn't moved an inch during his absence. Even the creepy grin was still on his face.

"Ah, Kisame. Good morning" Itachi greeted his friend, not quite succeeding in hiding the tiredness in his voice. Kisame continued to grin. To Madara's surprise, Sasuke didn't seem to like the boy smiling like that and clung to his brother even tighter.

With a look over his shoulder, Itachi said "Madara, could you please leave us alone? There's something I have to talk about with Kisame."

"Alright, I'll leave you two! I have to prepare breakfast anyway!" his uncle stated, back to his falsely-cheery persona. He knew the danger of his actions; those three could come up with creative ways to get rid of him, of this he was sure. Yet if he left, Itachi would get his way, resulting in a more kind Itachi. At least, this was what Madara thought.

Once in a kitchen he noticed just how hungry he was and that it would look a little weird if he went to the kitchen and came back without food. A quick a look into the cupboard and fridge told him that there was enough cereal and milk to nourish the whole family for a few days. Eventually picking a box that had "Lucky leaf – without sugar and additives!" (what happened to the good old days when they still sold the sugar coated ones instead of this healthy crap?) written on it, he filled three bowls with the 'healthy crap' and poured milk in it, all the while making a mental list of all the ingredients he could poison this breakfast.

And that's when he spotted something, hidden behind the toaster. 'Oh, Fugaku, you **asshole**.'  
>There once was a time when Madara was a nice little kid and didn't think it was fun to terrorize his cousin and they still sold the sugar coated "Tsukoyomi". Back then, this cereal had been basically the only food he would eat willingly. Until the company had to take it off the market because it was just not selling well enough. Needless to say, Madara's reaction hadn't been pleasant for those around him.<br>But somehow, Fugaku had gotten his hands on one last box and had put it purposely somewhere where it wouldn't be spotted immediately but was bound to be found at some time. Just to spite him. If he gave in to temptation, his cousin would know and that was just...no. He was older, he was more successful (AND more handsome!), so he would sadly have to stay strong and keep away from the delicious treat.

This little side blow worsened his mood farther and it was hard to keep smiling when he called Itachi and Sasuke. Kisame joined them, grinning as wide and creepy as ever.

"I just wanted to tell you that a couple of friends will come over, if you don't mind" the older Uchiha brat informed him with an innocent expression. The same expression he had when Madara caught him at his murder attempt. "O-Of course, why not?" replied Madara, his paranoia someone-wants-to-kill-me-senses tingling.

After a while, the mutant child excused himself and as soon as he was gone, Sasuke returned to being the loud hyper kid he was and questioned, eyes wide and looking all innocent "Uncle Madaraaaa, is it true you were in treatment once?" The sound of a spoon being dropped echoed through the room.

"Who told you that?" snarled Madara, his attitude once again back to his old self. The two brothers looked at one another and finally the human bouncing ball answered "Daddy told us! He said you were in treatment for paranoia! Whatever that is!" "Well, you're dad is a LIAR then" the man said and glared at the young boy.

He had been wrong when he had assumed Itachi and Sasuke were the only problems he would face during his stay at the household. Now he wasn't only up against the two devils, but their evil creator too.

The clock on the kitchen wall said 7.10 am.

* * *

><p><strong>ARGH. This chapter makes me want to punch my brother. Mind you, my brother has the IQ of a doughnut, so I wouldn't be destroying precious brain cells. Still, I don't like this chapter very much, BUT IT HAS TO GO ON. I feel bad for making you wait, especially after recieving so great reviews T_T <strong>

**Oh and fun fact: once on a Sunday morning, my cousin ran into the room, greeted me with "GOOD MORNING!" and started jumping around on my back. It still hurts.  
>And braces; I hate them. Had them, hated them, hate them. I didn't lisp like Kisame does but it was so f*cking annoying. <strong>


End file.
